We are back together again. I responded on Sunday to the inbox he sent me Friday and I told him that I missed him too (oh no!) He responded very casually, chatted on about working (agriculture) and having breakfast at home. My initial thought was "FUCK YOU" and a calm response addressing the message from Friday led to us meeting to get back together. Stabucks is becoming the "relationship break-up/make-up center" for me. Every break-up has happened at a Starbucks. Stabucks is love and comfort. But anyhow, he came and picked me up this weekend and we went out. It was all good and normal. Not much. Then he mentioned the forbidden name (Eliza) that I have secretly continued to aborr since day 1, when "She Who Shall Not Be Named" left a very questionable comment on a picture of me and him at the beach ("You look so happy friend. I miss talking. I really need to talk...") Yeah, shit that like don't happen around ME. So we talked about THAT past incident and things were cleared. I voiced my EXTREME uncomfortableness with that comment and he erased it from his profile and sent her in inbox on setting boundaries. Because I do LOVE MY BOUNDARIES. Nobody gets in my bubble, and anyone will hear about it. Anyway.
I was okay with him continuing to exchange messages every once in a while because things were cleared out (plus the chick lives in LA and is married and has a baby). So no worries, I stopped caring altogether about it, but this girl had still left a very bitter aftertaste. I guess I learned from then on to just not like her existence since then, when I was bored enough to remember her or when Raul mentioned her (i.e., her asking him about me, how we've been, etc.). Her name came up maybe one time after I cleared the air about how her comment made me feel, and that was so that Raul could tell me how apologetic she had been about causing any problems. So.
Saturday rolls around and he tells me that "Eliza" had sent him an inbox telling him about her health problems. As per his reporting to me, she contacted him to tell him that she had a tumor in her uterus and the doctors did not know whether it was cancerous, and that it was going to be taken out. Well, that pretty much scratched the record and all dinner ambiance we had going. I love cancer talk, especially about people I honestly don't care for, much less this person. The first thing on my mind was "Wow, this is serious stuff, are they such good pals that she confides in him and seeks him out whenever she has huge problems?" I noticed that he noticed that the mere mentioning of her name, and my very evident outwards look of sheer apathy, made the shit hit the fan. So then he tried making a recovery move by telling me that this seemes to be very common with women. He then makes another recovery move by saying that his coworkers and some acquaintances have suffered through some cysts too. I contribute and name one of my friends that have had a cyst removed and one had one ovarie removed due to risk of cancer. He nods and there is a very lengthy time of silence. I don't speak anymore, and he makes another recovery attempt by asking how MY friend is. I tell him, "she's fine." The silence continues and I continue to feel incredibly uncomfortable. He detects this right away. He picks up the bill and we leave. He asks me again in the car whether something he said had made me uncomfortable, so I ask what the purpose was of him telling me about ther health condition of this friend, whom was the very cause of turmoil in the past because of a very misleading comment made on facebook. His response is that he apologized for telling me that his "dear" friend had cancer and tat it made me feel uncomfortable. He said he told me because it made him feel sad, and he wanted to open up to me about these things. I address to him whether he had told me because he truly cared about his close friend and it made him sad and he really wanted to talk, or if he told me to avoid any problems IF I were ever to find out that she had contacted him again. He then went on about how she wasn't even a close friend and that she was the one making contact and continuing to send HIM messages. I asked him why she seemed to outreach only him when she wanted to talk about intimate problems, particularly if he didn't even consider her to be a good or a close friend (although he had clearly contradicted himself when he said that the cancer news saddened him, but then went back and said that he just told her "that's too bad" and "ignored" it). He said he didn't know why she sought out to him and said that he would block her and stop the friendship if it meant not having any problems in our relationship. He was still bent on the whole "you think it's bad that she contacted me to tell me she has cancer?" WTF?? using the whole cancer thing is a quick-fix ditch it way to guilt-trip someone into submission. Fuck you, you know that woman continues to hve SERIOUS issues with boundaries and God only knows whether her husband knows she confides intimate fucking issues with some guy who considers the friendship to be one-sided and who says that "I hardly speak to her".
But then I asked myself, is her one-sided frienship really so important to her that she would go as far as to CALL him to ask why she blocked him off facebook? Why was he so uncomfortable with the notion that his common friends with her noticed that he unfriended her from facebook?